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Melissa Camara Wilkins

Be who you were made to be. Let go of the rest.

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Oh Hey, Remember YOU?

The underneath-it-all, true you? Let’s find THAT you again. Sign up for the email list, and get instant access to the Find Yourself mini-course.




See our privacy policy.

How to Practice Living Out Your Values

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May you have an opportunity this week to consider what you value in this season.

Whether we’re talking the calendar season, or your specific life season — each season has its own rhythm and speed, its own milestones, its own joys and its own limitations.

Maybe this is a season of sand and cereal underfoot for you, or maybe it’s late-night dinners and long conversations as the sun sets. (I have vague memories of that being a season?)

How to practice living out your values

Maybe it’s a season for road trips, or a season for card games at home and cold-pressed coffee with the neighbors.

Or maybe it’s a difficult season, one of illness or hardship or loss, one where things are falling apart. If you’re in a season like that, may you be given strength to rise up and meet the day, every day, until the days demand less and offer more.

Sometimes all we can do is choose what to focus on, and how we respond. Sometimes that’s enough.

Whatever season you’re in, may there be space for reflection. May there be a chance to ask yourself:

What matters most right now?

What do I value most right now, in this time, at this place, with these people?

Is it truth, beauty, simplicity? Relationship, connection, compassion? Creativity? Curiosity? Contentment? Transparency? Endurance? Faithfulness? Courage? Rest?

You don’t have to choose them all.

One. Two. A very small handful. And then let those values guide your schedule, your “yes” and your “no,” your priorities and decisions.

How do you want to remember this season of your life?

When you look back, what will you feel, what will you think, what will you say, about this time?

Now look around, today.

Our nothing-special, all-the-time moments add up to be our days — which add up to be our seasons, which add up to be our lives.

May you live this next moment the way you want to remember it.

May it be steeped in what you value, may it be filled with intention. And may the next one be like it.

—

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  • This is the great @annelamott, signing a copy of her new book. Let us pretend she is signing MY copy, okay? She is not signing my copy, because I forgot mine at home, BUT LET US PRETEND. . (I could not believe I did this, except that I forget things all the time. It’s not actually that surprising.) . I could have asked her to sign one of the index cards I always keep in my purse, to tape it into the book later—but I did not think of that. I could have run to buy another copy from the table outside—but I did not think of that either. I think of all the right things, I just think of them LATER. . But then Anne told a story about spacing out because she was thinking about the meaning of life, or what she’d just read, and I thought: oh, me too. (That was why I’d forgotten my copy of Almost Everything—I was thinking about the meaning of life, among other things, while I packed my bag. Obviously.) . So that is not my signed copy of Almost Everything. My copy of Almost Everything remains unsigned. But I did get to see Anne Lamott and her gorgeous shawl, and I did get to be reminded of true things: that I’m not the only one, and that we’re all in this together. I walked away with notes on hope anyway, is what I’m saying, and I’m calling it good.
  • One year when my daughter Abigail was just a little person, we took her (and Owen and Audrey) (sorry, Sadie and Eli and evelyn, you weren’t born yet) to vote in a primary election IN THE RAIN. . When we left our polling place, with wet hair and “I VOTED” stickers plastered to our jackets, Abigail—who had been righteously annoyed at not being allowed to vote—told us: I VOTED IN MY HEART. 😍 Because that is what you can do when you are seven. . One more reminder if you’re in the U.S.: vote with your heart, and also VOTE WITH YOUR VOTE. Heart + action today, friends. Because that is what you can do now. . P.S. this year Abigail voted FOR REAL with a BALLOT. I can’t even. . P.P.S. that is totally a photo of Ev because I do not have photos of tiny Abigail on my phone. 😂
  • VOTED! So. This election, I planned to vote by mail. I didn’t think I could make it to the polls in person, so I requested a mail-in ballot—and it never arrived. . But you know what, that is okay. We made a new plan, we made it work. I voted in person, with all my kiddos. (Except for Abigail, who is away at college. She voted this morning!) . If your day didn’t go as planned, if getting to the polls is turning out to be harder than you expected: I GET YOU. 😂 I feel ya. And I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS. You can do hard things. Make it happen, loves. Get out there and vote! xo. . And if you’ve already voted: WELL DONE. High five for you! 🙌🏼😉
  • Voting for decency today. Voting for civility, for inclusion, for the common good. I’m refusing to listen to fear-mongering, refusing to give up on a vision of the more perfect union that we have never yet been, but can still become. That’s the plan today, friends. Today, we vote.
  • Yes I DO fully intend to keep the pumpkins around until we put up the Christmas tree. One day pumpkins, the next day pine needles: that is my actual plan. I see zero flaws with this.
  • Three brave things you can do today: . 1. Ask a question you do not know the answer to, and really listen to what you hear. . (Don’t be afraid to ask. Yes, you might look like you don’t know stuff. But I’d rather admit I don’t know and LEARN than keep not knowing forever.) . 2. Tell someone how you really feel. This means you have to NOTICE how you really feel. You can do this. And you can say it out loud, whether you feel confused or scared or happy or embarrassed or excited or anything. . 3. Put down your phone the next time you have the urge to pick it up. Stay present instead, right where you are. Refuse to be distracted from your boredom or your tiredness or your unease or your self. See it all. See the truth of it. . Three tiny brave things. Listening, noticing, connecting. Start where you are, do what you can. xo.

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Melissa Camara Wilkins