I want you to imagine something for me, okay?
Imagine that you’re getting ready to start your day.
You have your coffee mug in your hand. You peek out the window to see what the weather looks like, and then you head to your closet to get dressed.
But you don’t stress out about which outfit to wear, because your clothes are just clothes, not armor to protect you from other people’s opinions.
And later, when you see other people, you don’t wonder what the right thing to say is, because your belonging does not depend on whether they agree with the words that come out of your mouth.
You don’t worry about being too much or too loud or too quiet or too anything.
You don’t waste your time trying to fit in, because you are in the business of creating belonging.
Instead, you bring your whole self wherever you go, because that is how you move through the world: confident, grounded, comfortable in your own skin, with an understanding of who you are and what you’re about.
That’s what we all want, right?
We all want belonging, and connection, and confidence, and to feel comfortable in our own skin, and to believe we’re okay as we are.
But the problem is, we’ve been taught to chase the shadows of those things instead of the real deal.
So we work on trying to look like we’ve got it all together, instead of connecting over the fact that we don’t. We try to fake it til we make it, instead of growing our confidence right where we are.
We spend our time and energy trying to fit in, and pretending to be okay when we’re not, and keeping busy—instead of resting in the truth that we are already enough.
But all those things we’re doing—the pretending, the hiding behind cute earrings and a fake smile, the surface-level conversations—all those things that feel safe are actually moving us FARTHER AWAY from where we want to be.
The solution is to give yourself permission to be who you really are.
It took me a long time to figure this out.
See, I always understood all the Life Rules I was supposed to follow, but I could never actually follow them all.
I couldn’t follow the rules about looking just right and not being too weird, or the rules about not taking up space, or the rules about buying all the right things.
I had way too many feelings to follow the rules about being low-maintenance or quiet or go-with-the-flow. I had too many opinions to be “nice” all the time.
I just could not be the person the world seemed to expect me to be.
I did try. I did! And when that didn’t work, I tried to at least pretend I had it all together.
But pretending to have it all together kept me apart from everyone else, because I couldn’t let them see the real me.
It took me a long time to discover the truth. The truth is, I don’t have to hide my true self. The truth is, I am not broken, and neither are you.
The truth is, I am the way I am for a damn good reason.
The truth is, I am allowed to give myself permission to be who I really am.
What happens when you give yourself permission to be who you really are is this: you start to get comfortable in your own skin. You start to trust yourself, because you learn to listen to yourself.
The people in your life can see you for who you really are. You don’t have any more questions about whether your people would still love you IF THEY KNEW, because THEY KNOW. They know what you’re really like because you show them and you tell them. Being seen and known is the beginning of belonging.
The other thing that happens is this: you question yourself less because you know yourself more.
You don’t chase everything everyone else says you should. You don’t say yes when you mean no. You don’t hide what you want. Whatever that thing is in your heart that you want to chase: you do that, because that is what you’re here to do.
Other people can have their opinions. You get to have yourself and your dreams and your LIFE.
That’s what happens when you give yourself permission to be who you really are. You get your life back.
I took every story about how I learned to give myself permission to be who I really am, and every truth about freedom and wholeness and true belonging, and I poured it all into my new book, Permission Granted.
Jessica Honegger, author of Imperfect Courage and Founder & Co-CEO of Noonday Collection, says this about Permission Granted:
“This is the permission slip you need to stop trying to live someone else’s version of your life and step into the truth of who you are.”
And Megan Tamte, CEO and Co-Founder of Evereve, says this:
“This book is a beautiful reminder that one of the most powerful gifts we can give to our families and to the world is to show up for our own lives and be who we really are.”
This isn’t just about you.
This is about how you show up for your family, and for your community, and for the world.
This is about giving you the tools you need to be who you really are.
If you’ve ever felt the pressure to fit in, measure up, and get it together, this is your invitation to a whole new way of being.
Give yourself permission to be who you really are. Order your copy now.
xo,
Melissa
