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Melissa Camara Wilkins

Be who you were made to be. Let go of the rest.

Oh Hey, Remember YOU?

You know—the you underneath all those expectations, the you behind the mask? Let’s find THAT you again. Sign up for email updates from Melissa, and get instant access to the Find Yourself mini-course.




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Oh Hey, Remember YOU?

The underneath-it-all, true you? Let’s find THAT you again. Sign up for the email list, and get instant access to the Find Yourself mini-course.




See our privacy policy.

Find Yourself

Get back in touch with your best self and discover who you really are.

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  • Sometimes all it takes is ONE THING going wonky to make me forget everything I know, like how to make a dinner plan, and what time to start getting a five year old ready for bed, and how to get anywhere on schedule, and what on earth I’m even doing on this planet.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ (This week the one thing was daylight savings time, which meant no one was tired or hungry at logical times for days, which meant no one slept nearly enough.)⁣ ⁣ (The other thing was a kid with a stomach bug, and two more kids with a fever, and I guess that is actually more than one thing. When I say I forgot everything I know that apparently includes COUNTING.)⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I don’t even know what I want to say about this. ⁣If you are lost: you are not alone. If you curse the day Daylight Savings was invented: you are not the only one. ⁣ ⁣ If you feel like you’ve forgotten how to be a person and are trying to remember how ANYTHING works: maybe take a nap and see if things are better on the other side. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ And if not: write yourself a note about one thing that worked today. You can read the note and do that again tomorrow. ⁣ ⁣ If nothing worked today, write yourself a note nicely suggesting something else to try. ⁣ ⁣ (I have made myself notes that say: TELL EVERYONE TO GO TO BED EARLIER and also DRINK YOUR GREEN JUICE. It’s a start.) xoxo.
  • Pretty much every time.
  • Whatever you decide to do next: it’s going to bring up FEELINGS. You feel scared? You feel anxious? You feel weird? You feel uncomfortable? Great, feel the feelings. Listen to them. Let them tell you what they’re here to tell you. Just know that it’s not the end of the conversation. ⁣ ⁣ (I talk back to mine. I will actually SAY: Thank you feelings, that was all good information! I hear you! And now I’m going to do what I need to do ANYWAY.)⁣ ⁣ Your feelings aren’t here to STOP you, they’re here to PROTECT you and to HELP you and to tell you things. It’s okay to feel scared or to feel uncomfortable or to feel unqualified or to feel whatever you feel. Feel the feelings and then DO IT ANYWAY.
  • What I’m practicing this week:⁣ ⁣ - Asking myself: how are you? (sounds ridiculous, but try it)⁣ ⁣ - Boundaries, always boundaries⁣ ⁣ - Doing the hard thing even if the hard thing is live video (YOU GUYS WHO EVEN INVENTED THIS)⁣ ⁣ - More sleep, better sleep, any sleep? ⁣ ⁣ - A system for having the next cup of tea already made when I finish the last cup 🤷‍♀️
  • Awhile ago, my friend Mathew said to me: So in terms of caterpillar stages, right now you are in the GOO PHASE. (He was right.)⁣ ⁣ I mean, YEAH. Sometimes you have to break it all down to build anything back up. ⁣ ⁣ (The thing to remember, when you’re in Goo Phase, is that it’s not the end of the story. It’s just part of the process.)⁣ ⁣ That’s how it works sometimes. Level the ruins, sift through the rubble—and then discover that something else was always inside you, waiting to emerge.⁣ ⁣ I didn’t have to force it or rush it or power through, because THAT IS NOT HOW GOO PHASE WORKS. I had to sit with it, and I had to let the old thing go, and I had to wait and see what I was becoming. ⁣ ⁣ And I had to do the work. Goo phase is a hell of a lot of emotional work. It’s the work of creating a new thing, and the new thing is you. ⁣ ⁣ You can do that, because what other choice does the caterpillar have? The only way through is through. You go into the dark and you wait. You create a tiny opening for yourself. And then you find your way back into the light, hunched and fragile, and wait while new life flows into your wings to make them strong. ⁣ ⁣ And then—you fly.
  • Just sitting down to write tomorrow’s note to my email friends (that’s you! or anyway it could be—DM me your email address if you want to be added to the list) and now I’m wondering: do you have any favorite newsletters to get? ⁣ ⁣ Whose do you open EVERY TIME? And why do you love ‘em? (Are you all about the links? The stories? Product recs? SOMETHING ELSE?)⁣ ⁣ My favorites… hmm, let’s see. ⁣ ⁣ @jenhatmaker is fun anywhere, including email. ⁣ ⁣ I always like seeing how @msrachelhollis puts things together. ⁣ ⁣ @thealisonshow is already as awesome as she needs to be. (It’s a lot of awesome.) ⁣ ⁣ Reading @annebogel ’s monthly letter is like dishing over tea and scones. ⁣ ⁣ @marieforleo makes me think every time. ⁣ ⁣ Oh, and for writers: @allyfallon and @heystephsmith.⁣ ⁣ How about you—have any favorites??? xo.

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Melissa Camara Wilkins