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Oh Hey, Remember YOU?

You know—the you underneath all those expectations, the you behind the mask? Let’s find THAT you again. Sign up for email updates from Melissa, and get instant access to the Find Yourself mini-course.




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Oh Hey, Remember YOU?

The underneath-it-all, true you? Let’s find THAT you again. Sign up for the email list, and get instant access to the Find Yourself mini-course.




See our privacy policy.

Soul Care

Listen for the still, small voice inside you and nourish your spirit.

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  • This is what love looks like: 👇🏼 I have a thing for paper. Letterpress, screen printing, block prints: these are my love language. So we have this wall all covered in framed cards right inside our front door—because when something makes you happy, you might as well look at it every day, you know?⁣
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Once, years ago, when I was in a depression that held on for months, Dane would bring me cards, day after day. He would leave them beside me in the bed I could not get out of, or on the seat of the car when I had an appointment to go to, or at the dinner table where I would sit and not eat.⁣
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Sometimes I would see them and smile the tiniest bit, and sometimes I would see them and my heart would break for all the ways I could not be present in my own life. But either way, I held them in my hands and knew that I was seen and known and loved.⁣
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Some of those old cards are up there, all mixed in with the others, the ones we’ve given each other on birthdays and valentine’s days and anniversary days and just-because days.⁣
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And when I look at the wall, I think: yep. This is how we do things. In this family, we see each other. We tell the truth. We don’t hide from our pain. We don’t pretend like everything is fine, and we don’t pretend like it’s easy. We walk into the hard places, and we chase down our own healing. ⁣
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Because in this family we do the other stuff, too: we do fireworks and dance parties, we do brownies and hot cocoa, we do puzzles and board games and last-minute trips to the bookstore, we do talking late into the night, over coffee and tea or cinnamon toast. ⁣
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You can’t have one without the other. You can’t shut down the hard stuff and expect the fun stuff to mean anything. So this is how we do it.⁣
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Love and truth. Every day.⁣
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Love you all. xo.
  • I know, it sounds like such a little thing—just being yourself. Just choosing not to be invisible. ⁣ ⁣
And some days it IS easy, but other days it feels basically impossible, because someone else will be disappointed or unhappy or INCONVENIENCED, or because someone might point at your softness or press into your pain or DO WHO KNOWS WHAT—and some days that feels like more weight than you want to carry. (You don’t actually have to carry it.) ⁣ ⁣
I get all that. I’ve done that.⁣ ⁣
But if we make ourselves small so we don’t have to find out what would happen if we brought our whole selves to the table—if we make ourselves small to fit into the box we’ve been given—we end up walking around feeling like we’re hiding behind our own armor. Like we’re pretending at our own lives. We feel unseen. Disconnected.⁣ ⁣
That is a life half-lived, loves, and we are not here for it.⁣ ⁣
So yes, I’m going to keep saying it. You were not made to be invisible. You are ALLOWED. As you are. (So is everyone else. This isn’t you INSTEAD OF them, this is you ALONGSIDE OF everyone else.) ⁣ ⁣
Be here. Come and be you, with us.
  • @rybeloin is trying to teach me how to hold my phone to take take proper selfies, because that is a life skill I do not possess. So far I have six pictures of the side of my neck and have dropped my phone 18 times. This is what normal grown up people do on a weekday afternoon.
  • I know, I know, it would be more inspirational without the second half. More Pinterest-worthy. ⁣
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You have everything you need! ⁣
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And you DO, but... you have everything you need the way an acorn has everything it needs to become an oak tree. It will get there, EVENTUALLY. But not NEXT. It doesn’t need to be there NOW.⁣
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Right now the acorn has everything it needs to become a SPROUT. The sprout has everything it needs to become a SEEDLING. ⁣
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It will get to being a big old tree, but it’s not like the acorn wakes up one morning and sprouts leaves, you know? ⁣
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You might not know how to get all the way to the end yet. But love, you have everything you need to do the next right thing. Start there. 👊🏼
  • What’s saving your life right now? 👇🏼⁣
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Not just the big things—I’m thinking small-but-mighty lifesavers. The stuff you can make happen today even if you can’t, you know, walk away from all the things you have to do and take a quick vacation to Aruba. ⁣
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Small but mighty.⁣
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For me? Wooly slippers, fleecy boots, and fleece-lined tights. (And tea, OBVI.) ⁣
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Somehow I’ve always thought I wasn’t supposed to buy super-warm things because it never gets really cold where I live. So I shopped according to the weather report, instead of according to my own internal thermostat, and always had cold toes.⁣
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Loves. Sometimes the shoes are about the shoes, and sometimes they’re about giving yourself permission to need what you need. NO MORE COLD TOES.⁣
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(You can find my whole list of what’s saving my life right now—including how to brew a cup of loose-leaf tea, because you asked—on the blog.)
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What’s saving YOUR life today? xo.
  • This morning a woman said to me: You have SIX kids? I thought parenting ONE was hard.⁣⁣
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People say this to me all the time. I always say the same thing: YOU WERE RIGHT. ⁣⁣
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Parenting a small human, showing them that they are seen and known and loved and valued, teaching them to listen to their inner voice, helping them practice empathy, pointing them toward love and truth and justice and inclusion every day, while also making one million almond butter and jam sandwiches and always remembering to pack a fruit leather for the road, IS hard. ⁣⁣
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Parenting one is hard. Parenting two is also hard. It continues to be hard when you have more kids than fingers on your right hand. It’s kind of a big deal, no matter what.⁣⁣
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That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. That just means you’re DOING IT. Keep going. Everything is going to be okay. ⁣⁣
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(And for the record, by “okay,” here I mean “sticky,” because: fruit leather and almond butter and glue sticks and lip balm and mud and grocery store lollipops. Sticky does not mean you’re doing it wrong, either.)