13 things every three-year-old needs to hear

Things every three-year-old needs to hear.

1. “Sweetheart? We do not lick mirrors.”

2. “No, we cannot have cookies with our breakfast. No, we cannot just call this meal ‘lunch’ instead. But that IS some creative problem solving.”

3. “Yes, you can wear your tutu and boots. And wings. And crown. And cape. Yes, I do think that makes you King of the Railroad.”

4. “How did you get my phone? And why do you know how to use Siri when I do not know how to use Siri? No, Siri, DO NOT PLACE A LUNCH ORDER WITH NATIVE FOODS FOR ME THANK YOU VERY MUCH.”

5. “Sweetie. We still do not lick mirrors.”

6. “Outside time! Sunshine, fresh air, exercise, let’s go!”

7. “They’re called UNDERPANTS because they go UNDER your PANTS. It’s not a trick. It actually is what it sounds like.”

Things every three-year-old needs to hear.

8. “Riding in the stroller is a treat. It’s to keep your legs from getting TOO TIRED while coincidentally keeping you in one place and cooperative. Yes. That’s the idea. The idea is not to use your feet as intermittent brake pedals.”

9. “You are really darned cute, but that’s not going to distract me from the whole mirror-licking thing. Which we do not do.”

10. “I hear that you would like to eat noodles! Every meal. Got it. Noodles, yum. But sometimes we need vegetables. No, as it turns out, noodles are not a vegetable.”

11. “We don’t bake DVDs. This is why we need streaming video.”

12. “Fuzzy little snuggle puppy, I love you to the moon and back. Forever. Goodnight mush. That may not be how the saying goes. It’s been a long day. The point is: LOVE. YOU. ME.”

13. “Okay, you got me, buddy. We do lick mirrors. NO REALLY PLEASE STOP WITH THAT.”