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Melissa Camara Wilkins

Be who you were made to be. Let go of the rest.

Oh Hey, Remember YOU?

You know—the you underneath all those expectations, the you behind the mask? Let’s find THAT you again. Sign up for email updates from Melissa, and get instant access to the Find Yourself mini-course.




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Oh Hey, Remember YOU?

The underneath-it-all, true you? Let’s find THAT you again. Sign up for the email list, and get instant access to the Find Yourself mini-course.




See our privacy policy.

When You’re In The Messy Middle

Awhile ago, my friend Mathew said to me: “So in terms of caterpillar stages, right now you are in the GOO PHASE.” (He was right.)

I mean, YEAH. Sometimes you have to break it all down to build anything back up.

That’s how it works sometimes. Level the ruins, sift through the rubble—and then discover that something else was always inside you, waiting to emerge.

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  • Here’s what I want you to know about this book: Old rules will not make a new world. And if you’ve been looking around this old world thinking, there must be a better way, there MUST—you were right. This is it. This is the new rule book. ⁣ ⁣ Because right now, what I want is for us to build new ways together. And the old rules will not get us there.⁣ ⁣ The old path is not there to keep you safe. The path is there to keep you small. Or like Abby says: You were never little red riding hood. You were always the wolf.⁣ ⁣ Every good new thing comes when you step off the old path and out into the unknown. Every good thing comes from saying: thank you, but we can imagine a better way. We can do better. We can be what the old rules never predicted.⁣ ⁣ New rules, loves. NEW RULES.⁣ ⁣ (And if you are wondering if this is a book for men too, I give you this, from the very first pages: ⁣ ⁣ “My dream is that people of every gender—as well as people between or beyond gender—will find themselves in these pages. My hope is that this book becomes a leap forward for HUMANKIND.” ⁣ ⁣ This one’s FOR EVERYONE.)⁣ ⁣ #WOLFPACK @abbywambach @celadonbooks
  • The other day, I spent the morning bouncing from task to task wondering: why is it so GLOOMY today? Why is everything so CHILLY and GRAY and A LITTLE BIT MISERABLE? It’s spring! It’s sunny outside! Isn’t it??⁣ ⁣ It took me until noon to realize that everything was gray because I’D NEVER OPENED ANYTHING UP ALL DAY. The blinds were all closed and the curtains were shut and no light or warmth or fresh air could get in, anywhere. ⁣ ⁣ YOU GUYS. If everything is dreary and gloomy and just sort of meh: TRY OPENING SOMETHING. Your heart, your mind, your eyes, your hands, a window. I don’t think it really matters WHAT.⁣ ⁣ I don’t even think it matters HOW. Whether it’s an intentional loosening or a crack down the middle: either way, the light is going to get back in. (But I mean, if you have the option, open something up on purpose. There’s less to clean up afterward that way.) xo.⁣ ⁣ (This is pretty much as close as I get to household tips. You’re welcome. 🤷‍♀️)
  • Months and months ago, when I started thinking about heading to Alt Summit, I wasn’t sure. I’d never been before! I didn’t know! ⁣ It was @thetiffanyhan who said: DO IT. (Tiffany is brilliant and will kick your butt, but nicely, so you think it was all your idea. Which it basically was.) ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ When she read my speaking proposal, she said: yes. even if you don’t give this talk at @altsummit, you need to teach this SOMEWHERE. DO IT. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ So I did. And you know what? She was right! ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ She was right because for one thing, Alt is magical. An entire week built around amplifying women’s voices is magical. (Thank you, @designmom !)⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ And she was ALSO right because feeling scared and doing the work ANYWAY is always the way to go. Always.⁣ ⁣ Thank goodness for people who invite us into being the best versions of ourselves! May we know them, may we be them, may we listen. 😘👊🏼⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ #altsummit #altoasis #altsummit2019 #altoasis2019 #becauseofalt #palmsprings
  • Sometimes all it takes is ONE THING going wonky to make me forget everything I know, like how to make a dinner plan, and what time to start getting a five year old ready for bed, and how to get anywhere on schedule, and what on earth I’m even doing on this planet.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ (This week the one thing was daylight savings time, which meant no one was tired or hungry at logical times for days, which meant no one slept nearly enough.)⁣ ⁣ (The other thing was a kid with a stomach bug, and two more kids with a fever, and I guess that is actually more than one thing. When I say I forgot everything I know that apparently includes COUNTING.)⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I don’t even know what I want to say about this. ⁣If you are lost: you are not alone. If you curse the day Daylight Savings was invented: you are not the only one. ⁣ ⁣ If you feel like you’ve forgotten how to be a person and are trying to remember how ANYTHING works: maybe take a nap and see if things are better on the other side. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ And if not: write yourself a note about one thing that worked today. You can read the note and do that again tomorrow. ⁣ ⁣ If nothing worked today, write yourself a note nicely suggesting something else to try. ⁣ ⁣ (I have made myself notes that say: TELL EVERYONE TO GO TO BED EARLIER and also DRINK YOUR GREEN JUICE. It’s a start.) xoxo.
  • Pretty much every time.
  • Whatever you decide to do next: it’s going to bring up FEELINGS. You feel scared? You feel anxious? You feel weird? You feel uncomfortable? Great, feel the feelings. Listen to them. Let them tell you what they’re here to tell you. Just know that it’s not the end of the conversation. ⁣ ⁣ (I talk back to mine. I will actually SAY: Thank you feelings, that was all good information! I hear you! And now I’m going to do what I need to do ANYWAY.)⁣ ⁣ Your feelings aren’t here to STOP you, they’re here to PROTECT you and to HELP you and to tell you things. It’s okay to feel scared or to feel uncomfortable or to feel unqualified or to feel whatever you feel. Feel the feelings and then DO IT ANYWAY.

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Melissa Camara Wilkins