It is possible that the most important thing I will ever do is teach my children to replace the toilet paper so that the tissue goes over the roll.
Because, I don’t know. You can do a lot of big things in the world, but do you know how great it is to have the toilet paper work the way you expect every time? It’s pretty great. And this is within my skill set, to teach my kids—with kindness and grace—how to do a thing like replacing the toilet paper roll.
Then, no matter where they go in life, every toilet paper holder they are ever in charge of will be a blessing to the people around them. OVER THE ROLL.
I’m still working on it.
Some days, when you are a parent, you teach more than that, and some days it’s just the toilet paper roll. Whatever, it’s fine.
The other day one of my kids was having a hard time getting into bed. It had been a hard few nights in a row, honestly, and the thing I want to do when a person is awake long past bedtime is to say I LOVE YOU, AND RIGHT NOW I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO BE IN YOUR BED, YES YOU MAY LAY THERE AWAKE UNTIL MORNING JUST PLEASE STAY PUT OKAY THANKS.
But instead I tried really, really hard to remember what it feels like to be the person whose body is being a little bit uncooperative and irritated and irrational. (It turned out not to be a stretch. I am familiar with that feeling. I have that feeling, like, twice a week, at least.)